Words swirl around in my mind, pitching and diving, weaving behind and in front of each other for their short life span before fading silently to nothing, dropping out of existence with nothing to mark their passing. In the shadows behind those words, darting across my mind, unseen but sensed, ideas and concepts play through my mental landscape. Invisible to the eye yet seen, known, by some other unnamed sense.
Some days I am good with words; they fall into place on a foundation of ideas and concepts. Tiny threads sprout between them, connections tying everything together into on coherent, structured whole.
Today is not one of those days.
Something wants to be said, but it is shy, maybe it doesn’t even know itself what it is. So it prowls on the edge of my consciousness, leaving me to face a disarray of unrelated, disjointed words and ideas. Pick a word at random, go fishing and see what I catch. A shopping trolley and an old boot. Try again. “conundrum” good word, but what does it mean?
No sense will be found today. But that’s ok, nonsense is as much use, if not more. When we make sense we have shaped, twisted, and tricked words into the meanings we desire. But through nonsense the Truth can be glimpsed, just visible between the words if you look at a certain angle. That’s Truth, not truth. Something raw, primal, deep down in our very soul. Freud knew this, which led him to “free association”. Speak out whatever words come to your mind as they come to you, and your Truth hides behind like the Sun seeking out between blinds.
So if I pick words at random, what is my Truth?
Ladies and gentlemen, that, apparently, is my Truth.